


Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

by howtosingit



Series: 30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [23]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24886243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit
Summary: “When the rain is pouring down / and my heart is hurting / you will always be around / this I know for certain”*TK has a really bad day, and he doesn’t handle it very well.30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos - Day 23: “No One (Acoustic)” by Alicia Keys
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand
Series: 30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770025
Comments: 15
Kudos: 190





	Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

—————

TK is having a really, truly shitty day.

It basically turns awful the minute he gets out of bed, pressing a quick kiss to Carlos’s lips as his boyfriend rolls back over to sleep in on his day off. TK wants nothing more than to crawl back under the covers with him and cuddle, but he’s already running behind from sleeping through his first two alarms, and he can’t afford to be late; his dad’s looks are getting more pointed by the week.

He dashes into the station four minutes after his shift starts, his body taut with discomfort for some reason that he can’t immediately identify. He keeps his head down as he heads towards the dorms to change, mumbling a quick hello to Marjan and Paul when they spot him. Maybe if he can just get changed and drink some coffee, he can take a little bit of the edge off. 

Except, by the time he makes it down to the kitchen and grabs a cup, the alarm is blaring, sending them out on a call. Muttering a “fuck” under his breath, he joins everyone else in putting on their gear before they all climb into the truck and pull out of the station. 

“Multiple-car collision, probably from heavy rush-hour traffic,” his dad reports through the headset, turning to look at them from the passenger seat. “Let’s divide into two teams to start off with. TK, Paul, and Marjan on one, Judd and Mateo, with me. Grab the jaws of life first thing. EMS is right behind us.”

They all copy, TK trying to focus his overactive mind on the protocols that he’s going to need. From the corner of his eye, he sees Judd reach over to tap his very visibly shaking hand. “You okay, brother?” he asks, turning his way with a concerned expression on his face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” TK quietly responds, nodding once before turning to look out the window. He can feel more eyes on him now, and it makes his skin crawl. He doesn't really know what’s going on with him.

They immediately jump into action when they arrive, and for nearly two hours they’re hard at work removing people from their cars. There are four vehicles total blocking the intersection, and TK spots Austin Police re-directing traffic and holding back the gathering spectators. He wishes that Carlos was around; he might not know why he’s so on edge this morning, but a bright smile from his boyfriend always makes him feel better. 

He shakes himself as he circles around the car in front of him, checking for other passengers who might need help. When they’re done with their first car - the mother and two children already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital - they move on to the next, restarting the process. 

It’s exhausting work, but by the time they’re done, they’ve pulled out all 6 passengers, only two in critical condition, and sent them to the nearest hospital. They load everything back into the truck, completely worn out, and head back to the station. TK continues to feel a hum beneath his skin the entire way, and it’s starting to really frustrate him.

His discomfort must show, because both Paul and Marjan ask him if he’s okay when he jumps down from the truck and throws off his gear. For some reason, the fact that they’ve noticed that something’s wrong frustrates him even more. He gives them a clipped answer before turning to head up to the dorms. 

Minutes later, as he’s searching through all of his belongings, he realizes that, in his rush this morning, he left his phone at home. He curses loudly, punching the wall next to him. He hears someone behind him and turns to find Mateo standing in the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes. “Everything okay, man?” he asks, and TK can feel his blood pressure rising at the completely innocent question.

“Everything’s fine,” he snaps, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I just left my fucking phone at home.” 

“If you need to make a call, you can borrow mine,” Mateo says, holding it out to him.

TK stares at him, wondering how he’s completely missing the point. “No, thanks,” he says through clenched teeth, turning away to leave the room so that he doesn’t have to keep talking to people. 

The rest of the morning is pretty quiet, and TK times his lunch so that he doesn’t have to be around anyone else. Then, he heads up to the gym, moving to a corner so that he can be by himself. Without his phone to play music, he finds it hard to space out the way he likes to, but he still pushes himself through an hour-long workout. It doesn't take away the uncomfortable feeling; if anything, it just makes him feel more tired, and by the time he’s done, he’s achy and ready for a shower. 

He’s on his way towards the washroom when he notices a familiar face walking towards him, a bright smile aimed his way.

“Carlos?” TK says, definitely noticing how, for possibly the first time since they’ve known each other, his boyfriend’s smile does not instantly make him feel better. He can feel his heart splintering at that realization, and the discomfort that he’s been feeling inside his own skin reaches an all-time high. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey babe,” Carlos says, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. TK can’t help but to notice how sharp it feels against his skin, and he tries to breathe so that he doesn’t start crying; Carlos kissing him has never felt painful before. “You left your phone on the kitchen counter, so I thought I’d bring it to you while I was out shopping for dinner,” he says, waving TK’s phone in his hand. When TK just blankly stares back at him, Carlos’s face furrows in concern, and TK feels him reach out to grip his arm. “Ty, is everything okay?”

It’s that question — the same question that every single person has asked him today, the same question that he just can't figure out the answer to — it’s that innocent question from his concerned boyfriend that finally causes him to snap. He can feel his heart pounding in his ears as he yanks his arm away from Carlos’s touch, shocking the other man.

“Jesus Christ, Carlos, I’m fine,” TK spits out, his voice rising in anger and frustration. “Would you just stop hovering around me all the time, god! I’m not a child, I don’t need you to take care of me.” With a huff, he roughly grabs his phone and turns away without giving his boyfriend a second glance.

It hits him right when he turns the corner to enter the showers, and he’s diving for the toilet as he feels bile rising in his throat. He empties his stomach as tears cloud his vision, every moment of tension and discomfort from the past five hours pouring out of him at once. He stays there, purging his body, until he feels a hand on his back, and he turns to find his dad crouched down next to him. With a sob, he throws himself into his arms, his body vibrating.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” TK cries, feeling his dad’s hand in his hair. He presses closer. 

“Nothing’s wrong with you, TK,” he asks softly, looking down at him. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

With a deep breath, TK tries to calm himself down. They sit there for a few minutes, breathing together, until he feels his body stop shaking. There’s still an uncomfortable feeling crawling under his skin, but it’s no longer as heightened as it was.

“I’ve just felt really on-edge all morning,” TK starts, pulling away to sit back against the wall. “Like, I can’t get comfortable in my own skin, and my brain is struggling to focus, and I don’t know what’s causing it.” He looks down at his fingers, twisting them together. “Everyone kept asking me if I was okay and it just kept reminding me how not-okay I was feeling, and then Carlos showed up and asked me the same thing and I…”

He trails off, his voice dying out as a sob overtakes him, fresh tears forming in his eyes. “Why did I yell at him like that, Dad?” he cries, staring up at his dad, hoping it will all make sense. “We never yell at each other, and I didn’t even mean what I said, why did I say that to him?”

“Hey,” his dad says, learning to cup his face in his hands. “It’s going to be okay. Carlos loves you, he’ll understand.” He reaches down to link their hands, squeezing gently. “Everyone has bad days, TK. Days that just don’t feel right, days where we lash out at the people we love. They don’t define us, though, unless we let them. You understand what I’m saying?”

TK nods, letting out a breath. He still feels an itch all over his body, but it’s the weakest it’s been all day. 

“Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m giving you the afternoon off, and you can take a shower and then rest in the dorms for a few hours. No, TK,” he starts, when TK starts to argue, “that’s an order from your captain.”

He rolls his eyes, nodding in acceptance. He hates when his dad pulls the captain card, but he’s smart enough to know not to object. With a nod, his dad moves to stand, telling TK that they’ll see him downstairs whenever he’s ready. 

———

When he wakes up a few hours later, he feels like an entirely different person from this morning. The shower had helped immensely, and he had used his time under the water to massage his overworked muscles until he felt more like himself. 

The dorm around him is dark and deserted, and TK lets out a deep breath at the isolation. His mind even feels relaxed for the first time since getting out of bed earlier, and he can’t help but to smile at the relief he feels to be on the other side of his anxiety-ridden spiral. 

He turns to look at the nightstand, searching for his phone, and freezes when he sees a familiar body sitting against the partial wall that divides the beds. Carlos’s head is nodding to the side as he dozes, and TK can see worried lines on his boyfriend’s face, knowing that they’re probably for him. It completely breaks his heart.

He can’t hold back a sob, watching as Carlos jerks awake at the sound, looking around for a moment before their eyes meet. 

“Carlos,” he sobs, reaching out for the other man, and he shouldn’t be surprised when Carlos immediately moves up to the bed, but he is. His boyfriend immediately wraps him in his arms, pulling TK to his chest. 

“I’m so sorry,” TK whispers, trying to make his voice work in-spite of his emotions. “I didn’t mean a thing that I said, you have to know that. Carlos, I love you so much, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” Carlos says softly, reaching for his hand and linking their fingers together, “you gotta breathe, TK. I love you too, but you gotta breathe.”

TK nods, feeling how Carlos’s chest rises and falls against his cheek. He takes a moment to sync their breathing, listening to the way Carlos’s heart pounds in his chest. He loves the feeling of being completely surrounded by his boyfriend. He’s never felt as safe as he does in his arms.

“I never feel like you hover around me,” TK starts when he’s breathing normally again, Carlos’s hand rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him. “I love having you near me, every single day. When I’m with you, I feel so safe and loved, and while I may not  _ need  _ you to take care of me, I  _ want  _ you to.”

He rises up slightly to look at his boyfriend, bringing his hand up to cup Carlos’s stubbly cheek. “That’s what you and I do, we take care of each other. And I never want us to stop doing that, ever.”

Carlos nods, his eyes shining with tears, and TK watches as he visibly swallows before speaking. “When I heard you say that, I got so scared that it was something that you had been thinking for a while, and that you didn’t feel like you could tell me,” he says weakly, tears falling onto his cheek. 

TK shakes his head, moving closer to press their foreheads together. He uses his thumb to wipe away the tears, his heart breaking at the way he made Carlos feel.

“What happened earlier, that wasn’t about you at all. I was just having a really bad day, and you were the last person in a long line of people who noticed, and I lashed out at you. It could’ve been anyone, and I’m so sorry that I made you think it was something you did,” TK says, feeling Carlos’s arms wrap around his back.

“But you would tell me if there was something, right?” Carlos says, his fingers gripping tightly to TK’s shirt. “I don’t want things to eat away at us until we can’t handle them.”

“Carlos,” TK starts, bringing his other hand up to frame his boyfriend’s face as he stares in his brown eyes. “You make me happier than anyone else on this entire planet. You own half of my heart, and without you, I don’t know what I’d do. I love you so much, I’ll never be able to express it completely. And I promise you, I will not let anything hurt us, so I will always tell you what I’m thinking. Always, okay?”

Carlos nods, his face collapsing as more tears fall from his eyes. TK pushes closer, to connect their lips, feeling the way Carlos trembles against him. He wraps his arms around his broad shoulders, pouring all the love and devotion that he has into their embrace.

“I feel the same way,” Carlos gasps when they part, his cheeks stained with tear tracks. 

“I know you do,” TK says gently, pressing their noses together as he feels his heart exploding in his chest. “You show me every day how much you love me, and that’s why I know we’re going to be okay.”

He presses in for another kiss, guiding Carlos down to lay on the bed so that he can press their entire bodies together, head-to-toe. They continue to hold each other, sharing soft kisses and gentle smiles, and TK almost can’t handle the comfort and support he feels in Carlos’s arms.

He knows that everything is going to be alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow me on tumblr!](https://howtosingit.tumblr.com/)


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